Tulisan Asal : Reborn!

 sebenernya banyak banget yang mau gw tulis dari minggu lalu, tapi pertama-tama gw cerita kejadian hari ini dan kemaren dulu yak. oke jadi hari ini gw latiahn nyetir lagi. bukan kursus, tapi diajarin bapak gw karna instruktur gw lagi gak bisa. biasa lah gw belajar belok dan parkir. gak buruk-buruk amat hasil belajar gw. tapi emang harus rajin sih belajar parkir ama belok biar makin dapet feelnya. nah kemaren nih. jadi ceritanya gw tuh ikut tes rbb ye kan. pagi-pagi banget, jam 7. lu tau apaa, gw dah buka tuh website dari jam 6 pagi. trus gw leha2 lah bentar. gw sarapan dulu jam setengah 7, trus jam 6.45 gw boker dulu. sampe akhirnya gw buka lagi tuh website jam 7.05. telat sih, tapi ya gapapa lah 5 menit doang mah. eh lu tauuuu?? servernya down anjir. mati lah gw. gw udh nyoba bersihin cache, udh nyoba restart, udh nyoba ganti hp buat tethering (karna gw gak punya wifi di rumah). tetep bae begitu. gw dah pasrah, dan mikir, 'ah emang ga rejeki gw kerja di bumn'. trus sekitar jam...

it was a 7th time i already had my driving course class. i feel better everyweek, but still, i have to practice it more cause i am still not use to it. anyway i dont have any certain topic to write about. no idea, nothing. but i already promised to myself to make one english post. i thought my english already better than everyone. but i realize, i still had hard times to write let alone speak in english. my choices of words are limited, and i still struggling to make senteces with proper grammar structure.  by the way, i am still feeling sick after my raya holiday. actually, when i arrived at my grandpa's house, i felt sore in my throat. it feels like the day before you get flu. i thought i might get flu soon. but then my flu never appeared until 2 days after we got back to our house. even though my nose full of mucus, but the 'meler' part it's not that bad. my cough on the other hand was pretty bad. i couldn't even have enough sleep for 2 days. the problem is, my n...

 sejujurnya gw males bgt kalo harus mudik kemarin. jujur gw insecure dengan keadaan gw skrg yang blm jadi apa2. sebenernya kalo dipikir-pikir, yg bikin gw insecure tuh pertanyaan2 dari keluarga kayak kerja dimana dan apa? karna kerjaan gw ini yah gimana ya, emg gak akan membanggakan bagi kelurga gw. di keluarga gw byk yg masuk ptn bagus2 dan byk jg yang dapet kerjaan bagus dan prestisius. apalagi bapak gw tipikal boomer yg pengen anaknya kerja di perusahaan bagus kalo bisa pns. bapak gw jg suka pamer achievement anak-anaknya dari dulu. inget bgt dulu dia ngebanggain abang gw yg keterima di ui. nah kejadian lagi nih pas lebaran. dia banggain abang gw yg skrg udh jadi dosen di hadapan tetangga. lu tau ga sih, disitu gak ada abang gw, tapi ada gw! yah dia pilih banggain abang gw yg ga ada disitu daripada banggain pencapaian gw skrg, padahal gw udh kerja juga (yah walau memang kerjaan gw gak prestisius). tapi gw bersyukur jg ga dimention disitu karena gw males diajak basa-basi dan haru...

gw baru inget lagi untuk ngelakuin hal 'ini'. jadi gw sebelum lebaran nonton videonya dokter k. gw lupa kemaren bahas apa, tapi yg jelas disana dia ngasih tips gimana biar kita bisa improve terus dengan cara nulis 5 hal yang menurut lo impossible dan abis itu pilih 2 diantara 5 itu mana yg kira2 paling bisa lo lakuin. tulis di kertas dan paksa diri lo untuk ngelakuin hal-hal tersebut. kalo ga berhasil, lu tinggal pilih opsi yg lain yg ada di 5 opsi sebelumnya. terus gw keinget mau nulis ini di blog. oke jadi gw tulis hal-hal yang gw pikir impossible buat gw. berikut daftarnya: 1. nyapa tetangga (depan rumah, maupun lagi papasan dimana pun, termasuk orang2 yang biasa gw lewatin tiap pergi kerja) 2. mengurangi daydreaming (sebisa mungkin bikin diri gw produktif ngelakuin hal-hal riil biar gw gak masuk zona 'daydreaming' lagi) 3. ngomong di depan banyak orang (gak harus puluhan atau ratusan org. contohnya gw bisa presentasi dengan baik di depan klien. atau situasi kyk pas ...

capek banget karena gw orang yang sering daydreaming dan punya intrusive thoughts. gimana engga, tiap ada waktu luang, ada aja khayalan/obsessive thoughts yang masuk. sekarang gw lagi mengalami masa limerence. sebenernya karena kecenderungan gw yg suka overthink ini, gw tuh gampang banget masuk ke fase limerence. dari dulu, kalo gw tertarik sama seseorang, entah itu artis atau orang biasa gw bisa sangat terobsesi dengan mereka. gw build up story tetntang gw dan mereka. gw bikin skenario seakan2 gw dan mereka hidup bersama dan melakukan hal menyenangkan bersama. bahasa lainnya sih HALU. asli gw tuh HALU luar biasa. gw paham sih kenapa gw gini, karena gw lack of... everything! kehidupan nyata gw gak menyenangkan. gw menyedihkan. gw gak pernah merasa dicintai and i struggled to accept/love myself the way i am. so daydreaming and LIMERENCE are my go-to coping mechanisms. i have troubled to go off my 'halu' thoughts about my coworker. he just fine, but yes, i admire him so much. i k...

 When your gonee.. the pieces of my heart are missing youu.. .... Cause we lost it all, nothing last forever I'm sorry i can't be, perfecttt... ... Do you ever feel like breaking downnn Do you ever feel out of placee.. Like somehow you just don't belong And no one understands you ... I tried so hard to listen and write the proper lyrics for those songs without checking the actual lyrics on google. I want to improve my listening skills, so i did this. And i realize it's not always my fault not knowing or grasping the lyrics, but their pronounciation and (i don't know) maybe their artistic vocal choices made the lyrics hard to grab. See, even sometimes native speaker have a hard time to get the lyrics right. But surely, when i was in elementary school, i didn't even know what they were talking/singing. I thought welcome to my life-simple plan is about a man who tell he enjoyed his life and shares his life stories to his friend. More like a happy lyrics with happy ...