Limerence

capek banget karena gw orang yang sering daydreaming dan punya intrusive thoughts. gimana engga, tiap ada waktu luang, ada aja khayalan/obsessive thoughts yang masuk.

sekarang gw lagi mengalami masa limerence. sebenernya karena kecenderungan gw yg suka overthink ini, gw tuh gampang banget masuk ke fase limerence. dari dulu, kalo gw tertarik sama seseorang, entah itu artis atau orang biasa gw bisa sangat terobsesi dengan mereka. gw build up story tetntang gw dan mereka. gw bikin skenario seakan2 gw dan mereka hidup bersama dan melakukan hal menyenangkan bersama. bahasa lainnya sih HALU. asli gw tuh HALU luar biasa. gw paham sih kenapa gw gini, karena gw lack of... everything! kehidupan nyata gw gak menyenangkan. gw menyedihkan. gw gak pernah merasa dicintai and i struggled to accept/love myself the way i am. so daydreaming and LIMERENCE are my go-to coping mechanisms.

i have troubled to go off my 'halu' thoughts about my coworker. he just fine, but yes, i admire him so much. i know he just like any other person or human that has flaws, but still he always comes up to my  head. EVERYDAY. i dont want to look like i obsessed to him. i too aware that it was just a fantasy i build with him. i am fully aware of that. but it's so hard for me to just go off that thoughts. i remind myself to focus on my journey but in the next day i would do it again and again.

doctor k said, to handle all of those limerences, first step you need to accept that you have it. accept you have limerence. Anndd, accept that it just a fantasy. simple. now i try my best to accept it and admit it just fantasies and not a reality. and i try to look objectively about him, cause sometimes i realize that he has flaws but my 'haluness' just brush it off and think that it was normal. no it wasn't, for sure.

huh, why is it so hard to be an (unheald) adult?! i want to heal my deep scars and be a secure person.

oh god, can my mind stop thinking about intrusive thoughts? i hope so

chat gpt correction

I have trouble letting go of my ‘halu’ thoughts about my coworker. He’s just fine, but yes, I admire him so much. I know he’s just like any other person—he has flaws—but still, he always comes to my mind. Every. Single. Day. I don’t want to look like I’m obsessed with him. I’m fully aware that it’s just a fantasy I’ve created, but it’s so hard for me to let go of these thoughts. I remind myself to focus on my own journey, but the next day, I find myself doing it all over again.

Doctor K said that to handle limerence, the first step is to accept that you have it. Accept that you have limerence. Annnd, accept that it’s just a fantasy. Simple. Now, I’m trying my best to accept it and admit that it’s just a fantasy, not reality. I also try to see him objectively because sometimes, I do notice his flaws, but my ‘haluness’ just brushes them off, making me think it’s normal. But no—it’s not.

Huh, why is it so hard to be an (unhealed) adult?! I want to heal my deep scars and become a secure person.

Oh God, can my mind stop thinking about intrusive thoughts? I hope so.

agembul