Tulisan Asal : Reborn!

ohh selama ini gw kemana aja? well gw udah sidang dan.... it was baddddd!!!! abis itu revisian, dan .... i had been struggling at that time urggghh!!! so whats next? i dont know, but i think i should have completed my previous responsibilities so i can move on to something new, like finding a job maybe..

 jadi gw kesulitan banget dalam bahasa inggris. sebenernya gw ngerti sih bahasa inggris, tapi gilran disuruh nulis atau ngomong gw kagok. yang paling sulit itu buat bikin kalimatnya. kadang bingung ini nyusun kalimatnya gimana. kata yang ini dulu apa yg itu dulu? abis itu ini pake tenses apa. Apakah setelah 'it' selanjunya pake 'has' atau 'is' atau ga pake 'to be'? terus ini masa lalu apa bukan. ini gw ngomongin masa sekarang apa gimana sih, general aja perasaan, tapi gw bingung nih gimana? trus aduh, gw lupa kata ini bahsa inggrisnya apa? secara imajinasi abstrak gw tau tapi lupa nama katanya duhhhh!!!! dan masih banyak lainnya. trus gw coba lah buat sentece pake bahsa inggris acak kadut gw dan gw masukin ke ai. ehhh dibenerin dong dan yak byk bener gw salah di grammar. trus gw minta ai buat jelasin ke gw perbedaan tenses itu apa aja dan kasih contohnya sekalian. dikasih dong dan it turns out to be a really helpful explanation. gak nyangka yak. kayaknya

I have been struggling with an anxiety disorder for years. It makes me feel like I want to die every day. My anxiety stems from past traumatic experiences and my highly sensitive nature (I'm not sure if I am a highly sensitive person or not, but I am quite moody). It has manifested as OCD and social anxiety. Because of this, I have developed a bad habit of daydreaming. Why? Because I don't like to face reality. I fear it. So, I procrastinate on my duties, tasks, and work by daydreaming in order to escape from all my responsibilities. Oh, I feel really sinful. I want to change and become a better person. I want to become a more productive person. God, forgive me and allow me to live my life happily and be a useful human, at least for myself. Amen.